The Great Goblin Epic of Blax and The Parable of The Seven Virtues

The Great Goblin Epic of Blax and The Parable of The Seven Virtues

Translated by Hyperion from Southern Goblin, with enhancement by Tuatha Ulreicht

The great goblin ‘poem’ detailed herein is obviously an unsophisticated and disgusting piece of goblin speak. This account is however an heretofore unpublished translation from Hyperion, Cillandrial Wizard of Light. It is believed to have been taken from several written sources (goblins do not write of course, but the many cave drawings and oral histories discovered are patched together into a mosaic of story) and also from imprisoned wretches before their Darkness Dismissal. Whenever possible, the elements of goblin culture which are most subvertive and filthy have been removed. Those that remain are kept by the author in order to give the reader the true impression of what darkened chaos lies in the hearts of these foul beasts. As is revealed in the epic tale, the goblins also talk of seven virtues (although there is a twist of course). It is this connection between the Trebian beliefs and the abhorrent beliefs in the sinister races that have made Trebians such a danger to the Order.


Once, before the age of man above, Before the age of the goblin below,
when the darkness hid the bloated lamp that hangs in the sky
There lived a great and vile Goblin King, Blax the Fetid.

Swollen, prideful. Fierce and lecherous Blax.

He smote the many usurpers who pilfered his dungheaps.
Those fiends who hid in the bowels of his lands,
He burned their flesh in his cauldrons,
and he took many of their sisters
and daughters and mothers for his wives.

Some he ate.

Blax the Crooked was cunning and corrupt.
He struck first and last. And always in the back.
His armies clawed out his tunnels
They filled his enemies’ burrows with their own offal and excrement.

Blax the Defiler spread his seed wide.
Of his distended brood, he kept the 14 cruelest
As watchful masters of his warrens.

And took more wives, more skulls and trophies.

Hoary and ancient, he married his seven turgid daughters
To his seven most abhorrent sons.
Seven pairs of his putrid seed.
Blax the Wicked knew they all coveted his [pile of skulls and trophies].

So Blax the Wary sent each pair [*] upon the surface world
In the time of the great darkness.
To bring him a treasure worthy of a Goblin King.

To the most wretched and perverse would he give his throne.

The first pair, Gelcuzz and Clut returned
with a box of the slaves’ ale [wine] so he may endulge in his gluttony,
Yet Blax saw to abstain from it themselves was to be weak.
And so he cooked them in his pots for a final meal.

Until they were jelly.

The second pair, Eeg and Steelk slunk
Until  they came to a dark lake and a shoreline thereof.
Where a [surface dweller] bathed.
They stole the creature and gave it to Blax for his lust.
Blax saw she was unspoiled though

In disgust of his kin, he slaughtered the second pair.

Zuzvoq and Slinx, the third pair,
Were more like their father, cunning and vile.
They captured slaves to fashion a great monument to Blax to indulge his pride.
When Blax looked upon it, though
And then at his humble children.

He smote their heads from their necks.

Knowing his great lust for coin and gem, the fourth pair
Phrunk and Sheeshka, brought him wealth from the [open lands]

so he may lust for more.
And of course, to give away such a treasure, one must be a fool.

So Blax roasted them on his spit until their flesh blistered and fried.

The fifth, Deatelch and Efush, bound
A tome of his foul and mighty deeds
For others to envy.
Yet Blax saw the generosity of the prize and was made enraged.
And so slew this pair as well.

Esxa and Bruig though were especially wrathful
Instead of raising a gift to their master, they plotted to kill Blax.
But Blax the Brutal waited secretly in patience knowing they were like their father.
And when he caught them in the act,
He peeled their skin away for sport.

The seventh and final pair, Blamshz and Atlash prepared nothing. In their sloth they watched their kin died, and grew fat from their feasting.
Near death, Blax saw the diligence of the weaker of his seed,

and when his depraved eyes closed he knew who would carry on his debauchery.


To the seventh, passed the seed of his dark dominion.


*[this literal term could not properly be translated. It is believed to represent the pair of a torch and it’s shadow cast]

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